


Messages...

by dayxdan



Category: LAO - Fandom, Law & Order: SVU, Law and Order
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-19 08:42:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14233545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayxdan/pseuds/dayxdan
Summary: Sonny and Rafael are texting a special someone, yet to find out they’re texting each other.





	1. Chapter 1

It's just another cold Friday night in New York City. Rafael seems to be having a lot of those lonely Friday nights. 

Every time people asked him if he's single or why isn't he dating, he always uses the excuse that he's backed up on work or just doesn't have time, but if you knew the real Rafael Barba, you'd know he never is late on anything and always has things done before the due date. 

He was really jealous of couples, he wanted that. The whole love and affection package, it was something he lacked very much. 

Why is he so lonely though? He honestly isn't bad looking and he's in great shape. He is determined and always is right, but his personality kinda gets in the way of his perfections. 

He keeps walking straight. 

He's stepping on leaves, broken glass and trash. Typical New York streets. The air smells dirty and polluted. He doesn't even know where he's going but he's hoping it's somewhere good. 

After a couple of minutes of walking toward no where he's hears a 'ding' coming from his pocket. He checks his phone and gets a message from Dodds.

{Dodds}: Hey! Can you make it to the usual bar? Jasmine and I figured you aren't doing much haha.

Rafael looks up and sighs. He can't turn down his best friend. Plus he can use a little social time. He doesn't like to bother Liv much due to the fact she has  Noah. 

All he seems to be doing now is staying up late and wishing he had someone to love, or even have around. 

{Rafael} : Definitely, see you soon. 

His cheeks got pink and his nose was a bright red. There's only so much scarf that can keep his face warm. 

He finally entered the bar full of loud half drunken people and walked through the crowd looking for Dodds. 

Dodds saw him and waved his arm in the air, almost like a desperate elementary kid waiting to get called on. 

The bar smelled like dirty mop water, hormones, and regret. He looked around and rolled his eyes. 

Rafael made his way to him and gave them both an awkward smile. Dodds gestured the bartender for another drink. 

"Whisky please. Hey Counselor, how's your lonley Friday?"

"Amazing Dodds, just amazing." Rafael replied with confidence and embarrassment, all at the same time. 

He takes a seat on the empty stool. He removed his scarf and folds it onto his lap. He looks over and sees Dodds girlfriend, she leans over... 

"Ya know Rafi, my sister was a lonely witch till she got on those dating websites. 

Rafael rolled his eyes 

"But now she has herself a nice man with two kids. You outta try it." 

He looked up and tried not to burst into laughter due to her horrid Jersey accent, which was in fact, too thick. Rafael always laughed at people but in a classy way. So they wouldn't take it up the ass. 

"I mean...it's not my thing Amiga."  

Rafael is trying to avoid the conversation in general. He didn't like people noticing how lonely he was. He didn't like being seen as small.

She clicked her teeth and gazed at him. 

"I mean nothin'!" she said mocking him. 

"Here's the site." she wrote down a sketchy website called 'lonely or not' he smiled and took the paper, all while still trying to be polite, even though he hardly is. He still has respect. 

He finishes his whiskey and gets up. He throws a ten dollar bill on the table and pushes in his chair. 

"Thanks, I gotta get going but I'll check it out." 

He made his way through the people and he walked out of the bar. It was obnoxiously loud. He walked out with his head hanging low. 

After walking past so many couples in the city he finally got to his apartment. He entered and threw his coat on the sofa. 

Rafael was never the messy type but he was eager to check out the site. He hated the fact that he was so lonely and that he had no one but Liv and Dodds to hangout with. It gets boring. 

He made his way to his desktop and sat down slowly. He leaned back and pulled out the crumbled paper from his pocket and typed in the site. 

He second thought it all but then the feeling of being lonely smacked him in his face.

Maybe this won't be that bad? 

He made an account and answered all the questions it was asking for. He sighed and got up. He pushed in the chair and walked toward his room and made his way toward his closet. He crawled onto his bed after changing and curled up. 

He stared at the wall for it seemed like hours since he cut the gaze. He finally rested his eyes. 

****  
The next morning he woke up to a 'ding' coming from his computer. He sprung up from his bed and ran toward his desktop. He was really excited. This is his chance. 

He cleared his throat and opened the site. 

He only saw one outstanding message. And it was from a guy named "S". He checked out his profile and they liked almost all the same things, movies, music, shows and even colors. This really is Rafael's chance at meeting someone. 

***  
Before opening the message he wobbled back into his room and got ready for work, work always comes first. 

He made his way back to the computer and opened the message...

{S} : Hey, I see we share similar interests. Maybe we outta get to know each other and see where it goes?

He smiled from ear to ear and thought of what to say next without sounding ridiculously desperate.

{Rafael} : Hey, I see we do, tell me more about yourself. 

***  
They've been messaging back and forth enjoying each other's company for a couple of days now. Rafael started to feel somewhat hopeful. He finally had someone to connect too. Liv was an amazing friend and so was Dodds but he wasn't attracted to her or him like that. He wanted someone to love. 

***  
Every morning he'd wake up to a message from S and they'd talk about their day and what they ate, mainly little things that made the conversation worth it. 

They spoke for hours revealing little details of themselves, but not too obvious ones. 

Everyday he looked forward to a message from S. 

He seemed to message him more in the morning and durning his lunch hour. He figured they had the same schedule. 

Every time he got a message he smiled like a middle school boy when he received a message from his first love. 

Although the only sites rule is you couldn't share pictures and most importanly names, at least until you met up with the person, it was sorta like a professional blind date set up. 

Plus it kept it risky and fun. Which, Rafael liked.

 

(More to come....)


	2. Chapter 2

The next day the first thing Rafael did right when he opened his eyes was roll over and checked his phone. He smiled and opened the message from S. 

{S} - Good morning, I hope you have an amazing day today. I'll message you when I get to work. 

Rafael turned a bright red. He felt loved and whole. It was nice having something to wait for. 

He's hoping one day he can roll over and see S laying there in the place of the empty space. 

***  
He got up and slowly walked toward his closet. He opened the doors slowly and picked out his best suit. He thought he should look good today, since it's a great start so far. 

He drank a cup of brand whiskey and ate a piece of plain burnt toast, that was his meal for most of the day.

He walked out his building and waved for a cab. 

***  
Rafael stood there tapping his foot waiting for the elevator so he can get to his office. 

He sniffed the air and smelled a sweet hint of vanilla masked with hair gel. He turned around trying to find where the delicious smell was coming from and he saw Sonny walking toward him. Sonny gave him a huge smile. 

He hasn't seen Sonny in a couple days but he wasn't complaining. Rafael smiles back in confusion, raising his brow and gave him a gaze. 

Rafael and Sonny weren't friends, just coworkers and thankfully nothing more. 

Sonny was always annoying. He constantly harassed Rafael for law advice and never stopped talking. Rafael also despised him because he always spoke his mind, it's like he has no filter. 

So, why is Sonny now all of a sudden smiling at him? 

He grinned and decided to take advantage of the situation since he felt like being a jerk, as always.

"Awfully happy today aren't we, detective?" Rafael smirked and rolled his eyes. 

Sonny turned red and looked at his shoes. His pale face made it extremly noticeable for anyone to notice from miles away that he had something to hide.

"I-It's just this person I've been chatting with." Sonny murmured. 

***  
Sonny was this shy slender man who never kept to himself.  Everything he said he had no regret of it. His skin is pale and his lips are bright beautiful pink. His hair is a dark gray over black color and is always slick to the side. His eyes are a deep blue and it was easy to get lost in them. Overall, let's just say he's an extremely attractive man for his age. 

***  
He immediately closed off. And crossed his arms. 

Rafael wanted to get more out of him, since he too was messaging someone, also, as it's true, curiosity always killed the cat. 

"Who is the special victim?" Rafael smirked and tried sounding funny but eager as well.

Sonny looked up and back down at his shoes.

"This person, I met on this stupid site. Go ahead and laugh but we text everyday and I like them, a lot."

Rafael looked him up and down. 

Sonny, the annoying newbie, capable of love? Strange.

The elevator finally reached the building and they both walked out. 

Sonny made his way to his desk and threw his things on it. He pulled how his chair and carefully sat down. He took off his coat and drank from his coffee. Rafael couldn't take his eyes off him. He was really good looking. 

He noticed how beautiful his skin color is matching with his pink lips. Although he never considered himself 'gay' but he too was talking to a man off a dating site. And of course, Sonny is a huge exception. 

He had strong feelings for women but also wanted to try men. All his life he's only seen but never touched. 

***  
He kept gazing at him until Sonny looked over and caught him. He jumped up, cleared his throat, and turned away quickly. 

He heard the 'send' effect from Sonnys phone and seconds later there was vibration coming from Rafaels phone. It was S, he finally replied! Rafael was too happy to put two and two together at that time...

{S} : Hey! Just got to work, I can chat a bit. Also wearing my favorite tie! 

Rafael : Cute haha what color is it? 

{S} : It's a pearl red. 

Rafael : Nice, mine is blue. How have you been? 

{S} : I'm alright. Just had a weird interaction with my coworker other than that it's all peachy in here. 

Rafael : What did he do?

{S} : He smiled at me while getting on the elevator, tried making small talk. Even though the guy doesn't like me and then he was just staring at me. He's being weird. 

Rafael read the messages over and over. He looked up and saw Sonny's tie...It was the exact red S said. His mind started racing with thoughts and conspiracys.

He put his phone down and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't wanna keep thinking that he's talking to Sonny this whole time. How can he be texting his annoying coworker? He didn't even like him as a friend let alone a lover. 

He looked up and replied fast. 

Rafael: Wow, what a creep. 

***  
Rafael got up and went into the break room a couple minutes later. He pretend to get some snacks then just stood there looking at the roof, thinking what to do next. He let out a loud sigh and called over Sonny.

"Detective Carisi, come here please." 

Sonny got up and walked over slowly. 

"Yes, Counselor?"

Rafael cleared his throat and whipped his sweat off. 

"Hello...if I can ask...what site are you using?...for the texting thing."

Sonny looked at him with a confused but with a suspicious face.

"Uhh...why do you ask counselor?"

"I just..a-am wondering, maybe I can use it for myself." Rafael cleared his throat as always and tried not to sound like a predator to Sonny.

"It's called....Lonely or Not. It has a stupid title but it's worth looking into to."

Rafaels heart froze, he just stood there and looked at Sonny. Was he texting him or was it pure randomness?

He looked down at his shoes and his face was frozen. 

"T-That's interesting, I was just curious detective..thank you.." Rafael tried to sound as innocent as possible. And thanked god that Rollins called them both over regarding a case.

***Hours Later***  
{S} : Sorry, I just got out of work, we had this thing and it was a work load.

Rafael : Its fine, I was busy too. Can I ask you a question?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are welcome!! Especially kudos!!!

Rafael : Would you want meet up on Friday?

{S} : I can't, my cousins baptism is that day, I'm sorry. I have to go now, I'll message you when I'm free. 

Rafael took a deep breath. 

He was more than pleased that S said no. But frustrated too because he wanted to finally find out if it is Sonny he's been messaging.

He's kinda grown onto Sonny, he might be annoying but he has a huge heart. 

Rafael stopped and walked toward his closet, he took out a change of  looser clothing and got into them. 

He ordered a pizza and served himself a glass of whiskey.  He remembers Liv telling him to go out more and to stop drinking whiskey with every meal but he couldn't help it. It was now a natural born habit.

He heard a 'ding' coming from his pocket. 

{Carisi} : Does your place have cable, I'm tryin' to watch the game.

Rafael does have it but he just spoke to Sonny once  and now he feels obligated to be "friends". 

Rafael groaned, he couldn't lie, especially since he didn't mind the company. 

Rafael : I'll see you in two.

Rafael went to drink more whiskey, now he was down four glasses. 

A couple minutes later he heard a faint knock on the door. He got up and made his way toward it making sure his hair looked nice. 

He was drunk but not too drunk. Rafael knew his liquor. 

Sonny walked in with case of cheap beer and waved it at Rafael. His smile was brighter than the sun. 

He place the beer on the small dining table and tore two off cans, throwing one at Rafael. 

"Thanks for letting me come Counselor." 

Rafael smirked and sat down spreading his legs, it was his house. He opened the beer and chugged it down. Rafael never really liked beer to begin with so it was hard not to gag. 

Sonny sat on the chair and drank one by one by one. He kept blabbing about work and his bar exam etc. Which to be honest, Rafael didn't care because he finally had someone to hangout with. 

Until he finally finished a total of five beers. Sonny got up and screamed when they hit a home run. 

Rafael rolled his eyes and got up in excited. They both hugged and Sonny kissed Rafael's cheek. It all happened too soon for anyone to react. 

Rafael sat down right away. 

A couple minutes later Rafael got up to use the bathroom, he came back and saw Sonny lying on the couch. 

Rafael smirked and sat next to him throwing his head back. 

He closed his eyes and smelled the air which was full of cheap beer and cologne. 

He turned his head at Sonny and locked eyes with him. He let out a small laugh and turned back toward the TV. 

Rafael smiled and rubbed Sonny's thigh in a friendly way. Slowly. 

Rafael was finally having a good time, he doesn't have company over much and drunk Sonny is way different than annoying sober Sonny. 

He enjoyed the laughter in his apartment and the sound of someone else being there.

***  
This went on for a couple minutes until he felt Sonny grab his hand. He turned back and looked at him. Sonny pulled Rafael's hand down to his chest and up to his neck and back down to his crotch. Sonny flushed with sensations and bit his lip. He leaned in and kissed Rafael on the lips. 

Rafael gasped and turned bright pink. Sonny's lips were soft and Rafael was surprised how good they felt on his. But he hesitated and pulled away. Rafael cleared his throat and sat up.

Sonny leaned up and grabbed his arm. 

"Cmon..."

He tugged on his arm causing him to fall onto Sonny again. Rafael smirked  and turned a bright pink. Sonny started to touch Rafael's chest then slowly moved onto his crotch. Rafael was hard but his instincts told him they're were both too drunk. 

Rafael pulled away. 

"I-I think you need to go." 

Sonny pouted thinking Rafael was joking, but he wasn't. 

He got up quickly and collected his things. He looked back at Rafael and gave him a dirty look, slamming the door behind him. 

Rafael sat on the end of the couch holding his neck. What did he just do? 

 

(More to come...)


	4. Chapter 4

Rafael threw himself on the bed and covered his eyes. 

"Why does he always mess things up? Why is he like this?" He screamed while crying loudly. 

***  
The next day he got up with an extreme hangover. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of water. 

All the memories of last night hit him in the face. He held the bridge of his nose and sighed. 

He had completely forgotten Sonny was over. He notice he left his coat on Rafael's chair. Rafael looked at it and rolled his eyes. 

Of course he'd leave that there. Maybe he left it there on purpose...

Rafael got dressed and combed his hair. He made sure he looked his best today, he knew it wasn't going to be an easy day. 

He walked out his apartment and made his way to the precinct. He shyly walked toward Sonny's desk and laid down his coat. Sonny looked up and so did everyone in the squad. 

"You, left this detective." Rafael flushed with red and cleared his throat. 

Sonny looked around and saw everyone in the precinct staring. 

Rollins scoffed. 

"Rafael with Sonny? Outside of work? At his home? All too fishy." Rollins smirked staring into Rafael's eyes. 

"We were just watch the game Amanda." Sonny was far beyond pissed off and embarrassed to confess. 

He got up and stormed into the break room. Rafael looked at everyone and raised his brow. He walked toward Sonny and put his hand on his shoulder. 

"No hard feelings detective. I want you to know that whatever happened, isn't you." 

Sonny looked up and rolled his eyes. Rafael nodded. 

"Meet me at lunch, in my office." He looked around and added "to uh...discuss the case." 

Sonny walked out. 

***  
Sonny walked in Rafael's office and knocked on the open the door. Rafael looked up and cleared his throat. 

"Hello, come in come in." 

Sonny walked in and sat down on the corner on the chair. Rafael started at Sonny's pink lips and licked his own. He looked at the clock and tapped his finger on the desk. 

"Let's order lunch. Also, how are you and that girl you're messaging?" 

"You mean..he."

Rafael looked up and cleared his throat. Obviously it's a he, after last night...

"He?" Rafael smirked 

"I go both ways..you know?"

Rafael looks into Sonny's eyes and smiles. 

"Interesting." Rafael stood up and straight out his shirt. 

"Let..me uh place that order."

Rafael called the place but he wasn't sure what to get since he doesn't really east Italian so he just shyly passed the phone to Sonny. Sonny blushed as Rafael's fingers brushed his. Sonny hung up the phone. 

"You won't regret it counselor...So, why did you actually invite me? I'm sorry about last night..yo-"

Rafael smiled and tapped his finger on his desk. 

"I want to get to know you Sonny, be your friend..and about last night, don't worry about it." 

Sonny was flattered but suspicious. Why all of a sudden is Rafael really warming up?

His secretary smiled and brought in the food. 

Sonny started digging in immediately. He seemed to really enjoy the food. On the other hand, Rafael liked to take his time, enjoy it. He was kinda disgusted at Sonny, the way he ate and had no self calm.

"What do you do for fun detective?"

Sonny gulped.

"I like to mainly spend my times at the church or with my Ma. Usual stuff, I've been doing since I was a kid....What about you?"

Rafael sighed and stood up and walked toward the book shelf. 

"Nothing really, I like to stay home and work or drink some whiskey. Nothing too fancy detective."

"You don't have anyone in your life counselor?"

Rafael scoffed 

"I have Liv and Dodds detective."

"I meant as in dating wise."

"No...I'm afraid not."

Sonny stood up and walked toward Rafael. He just hugged him from behind, he didn't know why, he just did.

Rafael just stood there. Still facing the book shelf in shock. 

They stood there together for at least a whole minute. Rafael felt whole, warm and loved. He had not felt that in a long time. He knew exactly why Sonny hugged him. He knew he felt bad for him.

Sonny hugged tighter and rested his head on his shoulders. He was really surprised that Rafael didn't punch him or push him. That's what he was expecting anyways since Rafael wasn't drunk. 

Sonny walked back and put his hand on his shoulder. 

"Counselor, thank you. But I have to go."

Rafael smiled and watched Sonny walk out of his office. 

 

(More to come..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!!


	5. Chapter 5

(S) : How are you? Sorry for the late message, I had a meeting and couldn't get to my phone. 

Rafael : I'm doing great, just at my place watching some TV. And don't worry. 

Rafael knew that Sonny was lying about the meeting, he was at a meeting, but with him. 

(S) : Thanks I was thinking about you all day...

Rafael smiled at his well lit up screen. He was thinking about me all day...

***  
Sonny walked up to Rafael and smiled with confidence. Rafael looked over and a huge smile appeared on his face. Sonny was well dressed and smelled amazing, as always. 

Sonny walked over and placed his hand on Rafael's shoulder. 

"Hey Barba! I wanted to see if you wanted to head to my place later on and maybe watch the game...or somethin' with some of my old friends." 

Rollins looked up and smirked. 

"Thanks for the invite Sonny." 

Sonny hesitated. 

"Sorry Amanda, boys night." Sonny paused and looked over at Rafael. 

"Defenetly, detective." Rafael cleared his throat. 

***  
Rafael was at his apartment trying to find an outfit to impress Sonny. Rafael must've showered for at least an hour and made sure he looked just right. 

He made it to Sonny's building and walked toward the door, he took a deep breath and left it out slowly. He was more than anxious. 

He knocked a little knock, hoping Sonny wouldn't hear it and he can have an excuse to leave. 

But that didn't happen 

He heard foot steps and shoveling coming from the apartment. Rafael stepped back and quickly straighten up, making last minute adjustments. Sonny opened the door and smiled. 

"Come on in!" He walked toward the kitchen and looked back. 

"Do you want a drink?"

Rafael looked around and noticed no one else was there. 

"Sure." 

Rafael looked around and definitely became suspicious on why no one else was there. Sonny clearly stated other would be here. Maybe they're late?? 

He sat down on the corner of the couch and set down his coat slowly. Sonny tossed him a beer and turned on the tv. 

Sonny sat down right next to Rafael. Making it obvious he meant to sit this awkwardly close. They were sitting so close that their thighs touched.

"It's kinda hot in here."  Rafael only said it to break the awkward air. 

Rafael looked around and tried to see how Sonny lived. He picked out certain things that didn't seem like S...well Sonny. 

Sonny looked over. 

"You're right." 

He sat up and started to take off his coat. He rolled up his sleeves and fixed his hair in the mirror across from him. 

Rafael looked up and awkwardly asked.

"So, I hope you didn't invite me because you felt bad." 

Sonny turned around and cupped Rafael's cheek. 

"Of course not, I just thought we can just hangout, ya know? You did say you wanted to be friends." 

Rafael turned red, it made sense but why was he cupping his cheek like that? Why was he so close? 

Rafael felt himself getting an erection and started to turn bright red. 

He looked up and saw Sonny looking down at his crotch, he grabbed Sonny's arm and pushed him off. 

Rafael was sitting in such a vulnerable position, he didn't like that. He instantly got filled with sexual frustration. Sonny stepped back and looked at him and smirked. 

Sonny started undoing his tie and moved onto unbuttoning his shirt. He pushed Rafael back onto the couch and leaned in for a kiss. Rafael responded quickly and kissed him back. 

Sonny unbuckled Rafael's pants and Rafael needed to feel him against his body. Sonny began to pull Rafael closer by the hips and Sonny moaned into his mouth. Sonny eagerly needed to be inside him and his erection was painful and needed release. Rafael started rubbing him through his boxers wanting to touch his velvety cock on his hands, he bucked his hips into his hands and Rafael removed his boxers in one quick move. Rafael lowered his mouth and took Sonny in. He was swirling and sucking him like his life depended on it. He began to writhe under Rafael's mouth and touch. 

He began pulling Rafael to his mouth and kissing him deeply before telling him 

"Rafael, I need you now! Please..." 

Sonny looked into his eyes to make sure he was ready and he gave him a longing look, that was all it took for Sonny to know. Sonny flipped over Rafael and slammed his cock into his entrance. He slowly entered him inch by inch until it was in all the way. He felt Rafael jump and moan a bit. Rafael was so warm, Sonny couldn't take it anymore. Rafael covered his moans and held onto the couch, clawing at it. Sonny kept his rhythm and kept slamming himself into Rafael. Sonny finally released and hugged Rafael from behind. 

Sonny felt on top of Rafael and they both fell asleep on the couch. 

Rafael knew the way this felt, it was love, it wasn't just a quick fuck. He felt like this was real. And it was. 

(More to come...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short but I hope you guys enjoy!!! Comments and kudos are appreciated!!!

Rafael woke up and rubbed his eyes. 

He yawned and turned over on the hard couch. He instantly jumped up and fell off onto the floor. He had totally forgotten where he was, let alone did he expect to see Sonny so close to him. 

He sat up, looked down, and gasped. He was completely naked. 

Everything that happened last night started to flush in his mind. He started to slowly remember everything. He got up and scrambled to the kitchen.

He quickly looked at his phone and saw that he had ten miss calls from Olivia. 

He ran back to the living room and threw on his clothes. He wasn't paying attention to what he was putting on, but made sure they were clothes. 

On his way out a old lady stopped him. 

“Oh hello dear, are you Sonny’s brother?” 

Rafael froze, should he lie or just say he’s a friend? 

“I..I’m his brother yes.”

“That’s wonderful, are you alright? You seem startled.”

“I am, thank you.” 

Rafael made his way down the steps and waved for a cab. 

***  
He made his way to the precinct. He barged in the SVU unit, while walking in he cleared his throat and went up to Olivia. 

Olivia looked really upset but Rafael knew he’d get out of it.

“Look Liv, I feel as-”

Olivia cut him off.

"Funny Barba, after ten calls you finally decided to show up.”

Rollins and Amaro walked in and looked at each other. 

It was dead silent. 

Rafael looked over and turned red.

"What detectives? You guys are staring at me like I just killed a man." 

Amanda looked at Rafael and smirked. 

"Nice tie, Rafael." 

Rafael looked down and didn’t notice what was wrong with the tie

Amanda giggled. 

"Rafa..it says "Sonny" right there."

Amanda lifted the tie and pointed at the clearly embroidered name..."Sonny Carisi." 

Rafael looked up and hesitated. He was speechless. How could he be so careless? Also who the hell has their name embroidered on their tie? Ridiculous! 

“No..n- you see, I bought the same one. It was on clearance."

Amanda looked at Nick and walked away. Nick followed, he looked back and winked at Rafael. 

Olivia was speechless.

“What was that about?”

Rafael gave a cold look to Olivia. 

“Nothing..I have to go.”

Rafael stormed out of there and made his way to his office...still wearing the tie. 

Rafael sat slowly on his chair and threw his head back. How is he going to explain this? To the squad especially. There's no way he can cover this up. 

His mind raced with different ways to cover up the lie. He needed to pick one, and fast.

(More to come...)


	7. Chapter 7

Rafael’s phone rang but he was so out of it he didn’t even realize it. After a couple of rings he finally snapped back. He looked down at his phone and just stared at it for a couple minutes. He finally checked it and saw he had couple unread messages from S. 

He felt bad, he had totally forgotten about him, well not completely. 

***  
{S} : Hey, sorry I haven’t messaged in a while. Work has been crazy. 

{S} : How have you been? 

{S} : Are you upset with me? 

Rafael knew work wasn’t “crazy” he knew what Sonny was holding back.

Rafael : Of course not! I forgot my phone at work and didn’t see these. But I’m here now haha. 

There was a light knock on his door, he got startled. He sat up and straighten himself out. 

“Come in..”

The door creaked open slowly. He saw Sonny peaking through.

Sonny walked in and didn’t make eye contact with Rafael.

“Hey..uh...hi, Counselor.”

Rafael automatically stood up and made his way to the other desk. He pulled out a folder and handed Sonny a stack of papers. 

“Here you go, detective.” Rafael gave a fake smile and walked over to his desk. 

“Those are last week case papers. Olivia ordered them and I assume that’s what you’re here for.” 

Sonny stared at the papers for a quick second then looked back at Rafael. 

“No, actually I’m here to talk about someone else..” 

Rafael hesitated. 

“Well, I actually can’t talk right now, I have to go, sorry.” 

“Please.” 

Rafael shook his head. 

“Sorry, detective.”

Rafael walked around Sonny and walked out of his office. Sonny watched him walk out, he instantly broke into tears. Sonny didn’t even know why he was crying but he felt like he needed to. He hoped that Rafael would forgive him and actually want a relationship. 

He crawled under Rafael’s desk and laid under it. 

Sonny wanted a relationship with Rafael, he regretted sleeping with him that night. 

***  
Rafael walked toward the elevator and saw Olivia walking toward him. 

“Hey Rafa, what was that all about?” Olivia tilted her head and smiled. 

“Nothing Liv, nothing.” 

***  
Rafael waved for a cab and ordered to be taken to the nearest bar. He ordered drink after drink after drink. He wanted these feelings to go away. He wanted the pain to stop. He hated feeling so lonely and just this on top, made things worse. 

He pulled out his phone and messaged S. 

Rafael : I loves yoe Sonny

Rafael got out of the bar after being cut off and stumbled his way to the office. 

He clearly was drunk.

He unlocked his office door and threw his coat and case onto the floor. 

He laughed and sat in his chair. He put his legs under his desk and heard a loud noise. Sonny had hit his head and screamed. 

“Ouch!” 

Rafael fell back on his chair, landing into the floor.

“Sonny what are you doing!” 

Rafael put his hands on his face and laughed. 

He sat up and leaned his back on the book shelf behind him. 

Sonny crawled out from under the desk and sat in front of him wiping his tears.

He had fallen asleep and been laying there since Rafael left. 

He sat in front of Rafael and fiddled his fingers.

Sonny looked into Rafael’s eyes and leaned in for a kiss. It was a long, passionate one. He made it good because he knew it would be his last with Rafael. A tear fell down Sonny’s eye. 

Sonny cleared his throat and stood up, he reached for his coat.

“I’m sorry about last night I and right now even, know I shouldn’t-”

Rafael managed to stand up. He instantly cut him off. He pressed his finger against Sonny’s lips and giggled. Sonny started to get frustrated and moved back.

“We can’t keep doing this anymore Counselor, I’m dedicated to a certain person..and it doesn’t feel right, I’m sorry.” 

Rafael laughed. He put his hand on Sonny’s shoulder and sighed. He reached for his phone and handed it to Sonny. 

Sonny’s eyes widened and he looked at Rafael. 

Rafael stepped back and opened his arms. 

“Yes, it’s me!” 

 

(More to come..)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Sonny looked at Rafael with hate. He began to tear up. He felt so betrayed and didn’t know how to react. 

Rafael cupped Sonny's cheek and sighed. He hugged him tight and looked him in the eyes. 

"Look, I was going to tell you but I wanted to get to know you as Sonny and I wanted you to get to know me as Rafael, not some random guy on a dating site. It was selfish of me to keep it from you. I'm sorry..."

Sonny pushed Rafael with all his force. And wiped his tears. 

"Damn right it was selfish! You knew this whole time and you acted like you didn't! You played me.”

Sonny's voice cracked and was filled with pain. His throat felt so sore because he was holding in the tears. He didn’t want to look so vulnerable in front of him.

"Sonny..please." 

“Don’t ever talk to me again.”

Sonny stormed out of Rafael's office, slamming the door behind him. 

Rafael laid back on the ground and stared at the ceiling until he knocked out.

***

(More to come..)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s super short...it’s a huge teaser for the big parts coming...


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